Collateral Damage

Sam and Marcus were playing their usual game of chase around the living room last night, weaving around the recliners and bolting down the hallway back into my room (where I was cleaning, for once), then scampering off back to the living room. I was organizing my schoolwork on my bed with Sam lying at my feet, poised and ready, when Marcus stole in and paused at the threshold.

A staredown ensued. Who would make the first move? Ready... ready... r-e-a-d-y.... GO!!

Marcus and Sam ran off at the same time. This was the audio I heard for the next five seconds:

[scrabbling of paws on the carpet]
SQUEAL
[thud]
CRASH
"AAAAHHHH!"

I came running out into a dark living room, and for one heart-stopping second I thought they'd broken the TV. But no, the casualty turned out to be the living room lamp, which was pulled off its coffee table perch when one of the racing dogs snagged its cord.

The carnage

I threw both dogs outside (they knew they were in trouble) and got some trash bags, and Mom and I cleaned up the mess. Mom bemoaned the loss of the lamp, saying it was one of the very first lamps she bought in college. Personally, I think that means it was high time for it to go. Maybe next time I can trick the dogs into somehow breaking the oven, and we can get a new one of those, too.

Let Them Eat Cake

I know I said I'd post these pictures awhile back, but I have been recovering from the flu and haven't gotten around to it. But now I have! Better late than never, right?

I baked Sammer a cake using the normal cake-like ingredients--flour, butter, eggs--as well as some dog-like ingredients: two jars of meat-flavored baby food (one turkey and one beef), shredded carrots, and elk jerky. I frosted the cake with peanut butter and arranged some milkbones around the top. Ta-da! Dogger birthday cake.

Blech for humans, yum for doggers

We cut Sammer a slice and since we had no candles I broke a grill match in half and stuck that in instead. Hey, if it works, it works.

Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo...

Make a wish!

We sang happy birthday and Sam ate his quarter of the cake surprisingly politely. He ate the jerky pieces and the milkbones, then licked the peanut butter, then ate chunks of the cake itself without being overly messy or excited. I think most first birthdays go like that, don't they? You get all excited and expect the kid to just devour their cake, and then they sit there staring at it like What the hell is this, Mom? and you're all gathered around taking pictures and the kid's just kind of blinking at you and eventually someone grabs a handful of frosting and shoves it in the kid's face and then everyone laughs and claps and then the kid starts eating the cake. I believe the same goes for dogs.

Why yes I believe I'll have some cake

Mom held Marcus back so Sam could eat his cake, so by the time I brought Marcus his little slice he was raring to go:

CAKE CAKE LEMME EAT THAT CAKE

Unlike Sam, Marcus horked his piece down in thirty seconds. Marcus, the dog who can only eat one kibble at a time, was mauling this cake with a ferocious abandon I've never seen from him before. I can only assume he enjoyed it.

CAKE CAKE CAKE

MY CAKE MINE MY PRECIOUS

It was a small birthday gathering, but I don't think Sam minded. He got to eat cake for his supper, and he got extra pets and ear rubs and butt scratches, so he had a great time. Once he graduates advanced obedience next week we'll get him a combo birthday/graduation present. I'm thinking doggie riding goggles...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Happy birthday to Mister Sam! One whole year old today!

Now, unfortunately it happens to be late, so I will post the pictures of Sam and his cake tomorrow, but for now, I give you this funny face to tide you over.

(Arnold voice) Is not a tumor!

Oh, and for anyone who was guessing... Sam's one-year weight is 101 pounds even. Prolly gonna be 102 after he eats all his cake...

More tomorrow!

Happy 2011!

I tried to tell Sammer it was the new year but he was sleeping and slobbering...

Zzzzz....... wha? Eh? It's the new year?

Only eight days until Sammy's birthday! Happy new year everyone!

First Christmas

Sammer had his very first Christmas on Saturday. This time last year, he was still a pup in his mom's belly, preparing to be born, getting kicked in the head by eight other brothers and sisters. I'd say this Christmas was much improved for him.

Sam had been smelling his stocking all week and was a tad overeager when it was finally time to see what was inside it.

Stocking time!

Both boys got a toy and a rawhide pack in their stockings. Marcus' toy was a raccoon and Sam's was a skunk. The rawhides were from me and the toys were from Mom--if I had picked them I wouldn't have given Sam a black and white furry toy the same size as Marcus, because Sam already thinks Marcus is a toy half the time, and I'm sure this is only confusing him further.

 What's in there? Hurry up!

The one thing Sam did realize, though, was that his mouth is roughly four times as big as Marcus', and that meant he could keep his own toy and steal Marcus' raccoon at the same time. Sam wasted no time in acting on this discovery and was soon parading around the Christmas tree with both toys in his mouth while Marcus hovered at his heels, nipping futilely at the trailing tails.

Nyah nyah na boo boo!

Eventually we got the toys away from Sam by tempting him with his rawhide, and Marcus swooped in to grab his raccoon and spirit it away to his lair in the corner with the rest of his toy collection. (Marcus tends to guard his toys from Sam pretty vehemently, but Sam's so much bigger than him that he just takes them back without giving the snarling Marcus a second thought.)

Want.... rawhide... must.... have... NOW....

Gimme the rawhide already!

The boys settled down to chew their respective Christmas loot for the rest of the morning. The toys were de-squeaked in about two hours, and the only reason they lasted that long was because Sam was busy with his rawhide. Marcus' rawhides are gone now, and Sam's has been reduced in size by half and licked clean of all its beef flavor. All in all a good first Christmas for a pair of goofy doggers, don't you think?

One of Those Days

You know you're in for one of those days when you wake up and go to the kitchen to let the dogs out and find this waiting for you:

We didn't do it...

Hoppy Holidays

This morning I let the dogs out as usual, walked down to get the paper, then went about feeding and watering the two bottomless pits. (Well, Marcus is more of a bottomless divot; the only time Sam has ever turned down food has been when he's terrified of a baby gate.)

Halt, toad! Who goes there?

Today a new curiosity awaited the boys, however: a toad had taken up residence in their water dish. I pointed him out to Sam, who seemed thoroughly flummoxed by the intruder, while Marcus wasn't the least bit interested. Sam kept sniffing the toad as it swam feebly around the water dish; when that failed to produce any results, he started pawing at the ground around the dish. What his goal was with this, I have no idea, but it seemed to make him happy, and after a moment he was digging at the ground around the dish with glee while the toad watched balefully from the water.

Sam's digging for fossils

At this point, I scooped the toad out and tossed him into some nearby leaves, which thankfully stopped Sam's digging. He's already inexplicably begun a hole on the edge of the driveway, which he keeps digging up every time we fill it in, and one giant hole in the yard is quite enough. Sam sniffed after the toad in the leaves for awhile, then gave him up as a bad job and went to find a stick.