Incoming!

I was outside with Sam this afternoon, playing his favorite game of chase. Essentially, he picks up a stick or rock or toy, I pretend like I want it and run at him, then he scrambles past me like a looney toon. I pivot in place, and Sam runs back past me like a bull. It's a great game because I only have to move in about a ten-foot circle while Sam runs back and forth past me and gets all his energy out.

The problem with the chase game is that Sam is more rhinoceros than he is coordinated. So when I feint at him, sometimes he gets ahead of himself and trips and runs his face into the ground. Which, I'll admit, is pretty funny to watch, especially if he makes a disgruntled growl/cough while doing it. But then sometimes, instead of tripping, Sam just 86es the brakes and plows straight into you.

This is what he did this afternoon. He had a bit of stump he'd dug up from the dirt pile, and aimed his pass a little too close to me. He ran into my right leg and knocked it out from under me, and we both fell to the ground. His bony little forelegs had hit me square on the shin, which hurt, and I was concerned I'd hurt his legs, too. But no, while I'm rolling on the ground Sam circles back around and jumps on my back, knocks my head with the stump he's carrying, then tramples me as he makes his get away. Sorry thing.

Now I've got a goose egg the size of a grape on the front of my right shin, and Sam seems no worse for the wear. Granted, Sam is currently tipping the scales at 94 pounds, but I've still got some weight on him. So how did I lose in the collision? How is he perfectly fine while I narrowly avoided amputation?

I'm telling you, for Halloween next year Sam is going to be a rhinoceros. Or maybe a shark, because he's a biter and he loves the pool. Maybe a rhino-shark. Wouldn't that be frightening? A great white shark with fins and teeth and then this massive horn sprouting out of its nose?

Brrr. Gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about Sam as a rhino-shark. Maybe I'll just make him a ladybug or something next year and hope he takes the hint.