Glasses Thief

Sam and I spent most of this morning and early afternoon outside by the pool, with me trying to read and Sam playing with his big green ball, rolling it into the pool, jumping on it, swimming around, and generally being a goofball. Eventually he began bringing me his rope toy, which I would throw for him while I read and he'd run off and bring back when he wanted it thrown again.

I tried sinking the rope toy in an attempt to encourage more diving, but Sam just swam in circles and whined, then gave up and went for the polaris cord instead.
Everything was going well until I went to cool off on the pool steps, at which point Sam's thieving nature kicked into high gear. He trotted over to the side table by my pool chair, sniffing at the buffet laid out before him: iPod, book, crossword puzzle, pencil, hair band...? What to take, what to take? Very delicately, he selected his prize: my glasses. And as I realized what he had and yelled at him, he shot off across the yard with them like a rocket.

Visions of Mom's prescription sunglasses flashed through my mind. Sam had got a hold of those a few weeks ago and completely destroyed them. I currently don't have a spare pair of glasses, so if Sam ate mine, I'd be blind for a week until I could get new ones. So I ran off after him, yelling and trying to distract him by pointing out imaginary things over his shoulder.

We found bits of Mom's sunglasses scattered all over the kitchen

I know the worst thing to do when a dog has something you want is to chase him, so I started running in the opposite direction and Sam followed. However, as I whipped around to tackle him, he darted to the side and shot off again. That failed, I turned on my "mean" voice, yelling "Bad dog!" and "Leave it!" as deeply and angrily as I could. That worked. Sam dropped my glasses and sat down, penitent. I picked them up, told him he was a bad dog once more for effect, and went inside to assess the damage.

Luckily my glasses only sustained some serious droolage, with no lasting harm. I cleaned them and went back outside, where Sam was waiting for me by the screen door. I told him he was a nut and we made up, Sam prancing happily over to my pool chair and lying down with me on it to bask in the sun.